


A Gentle Touch (AU)

by themermaidwhoreads



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depression, Heavy Angst, M/M, Suicide, also this has honestly only been judged by me, feel free to critise the crap out of it pls, i hope it isnt too out of character, i suck at tags sorry, idk if it will be considered out of character or not, idk what else to tag to be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:53:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8735620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themermaidwhoreads/pseuds/themermaidwhoreads
Summary: -Alternate Universe-Levi and Eren were supposed to be visiting both their parents but stuff happens and I suck at summaries-TRIGGER WARNING: there is depression and suicide in this story, you have been warned-I'm sorry in advance





	

A set of keys, a passport, a credit card - these were all that remained on the table. Levi has received a call, about a half an hour ago, telling him of Eren’s death. The policeman called him first as he was listed as Levi’s emergency contact. Ever since that call, he has been staring at that table beside the door. The neglected phone on the ground was making an ear-splitting noise, demanding to be put back on its headset, but Levi couldn’t hear a thing. All he could think about was the last few moments before Eren left the house.

“Levi! I’m going out for a while, I might be late. Don’t wait up on me,” shouted Eren as he put on his shoes, his German accent slipping through considering he was hurriedly speaking.

“We have to be up early in the morning tomorrow to go to the airport. What could you possibly need now?” Levi replied as he came out of his room. “You do know how pissed your mother would be if we don’t go to her place in Germany this year. And my parents will never let me hear the end of it if we delay our flight. They’re both pretty angry we left our home countries to live in England.” 

With the mention of his mum Eren flinched but Levi thought nothing of it. While laughed Eren said, “Don’t worry, I’m just going to buy a couple of things”  
“Fine…” Levi sighed, “Take the car a least, you’ll finish faster that way and it’ll be safer. The keys are on the table beside the door.”

“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine!”

Before Levi got a chance to say anything else, Eren was already out the door. But now thinking about it Levi regrets ever telling Eren he can go out. If Eren had never left, he’d be here beside Levi and it would’ve all been alright. Levi thought as he ran his fingers through his hair, if he had told Eren that he’d already bought his parent’s enough gifts, or if he made him leave a couple of minutes later, maybe he wouldn’t have been hit by the truck. He falls to his knees breaking over the fact that he couldn’t save the most important person in his life. Wishing for the tears to come out but they didn’t, no matter how hard to try. So instead he filled the air around him with silent sobs of grief.

A month has passed now since Levi received this heart-wrenching call, and he stands now between his and Eren’s parents, shaking hands with everyone who managed to make it to the funeral. He didn’t once glance up at the people who came up to him; he knew that if he did every glance would be a sickening reminder of the truth he was trying ever-so-hard to forget.

He only looked down at Eren’s casket when the time came, feeling tears clog his ashen gray eyes. Rest in peace Eren he wished, feeling his lips quiver.  
As he left to go back to his seat, he bumped into a policeman who spoke in a heavy English accent, telling him that this is a tape with a copy of Eren’s last words. Eren dedicated them to him. Levi, in shock, just thanked the man and continued on his way. When it was over, Levi ran back home, sat on the floor and played the tape. Levi choked on air when he heard Eren’s voice pass through the navy, blue speakers.

“Um… I hope this is working otherwise it would be useless right?” With a more serious tone he continues, “Levi, if you are listening to this then I’m no longer in this world. I must’ve not come back this time, huh?” He sadly chuckled. “I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t stand the voices in my head, they were all urging me to do this, to stop living this life and I’ve honestly given up. It’s so hard for me to live a lie like that and pretend I’m fine as I don’t want to be a burden to you, while in the truth I’m depressed. I want to apologise for making you go through this, but if I hadn’t who knows how I must’ve hurt you. If I hadn’t I would’ve only brought more pain. I’m only protecting you from myself, Levi, please trust me in that. If anything I wish with all my heart that I was with you right now, but I don’t deserve that, not anymore. If you can find it in your heart please forgive me. I know it’s selfish of me to ask this but I want you to promise me something; please stay alive and don’t follow me down this path. Don’t cry over me, I beg of you; however, if you can please… never forget me... I have to go now, ich liebe dich."

After that all Levi could hear was the ear-splitting sounds of shrieking tires and a deafening crash. Levi couldn’t stop his tears from flowing down his face. Eren was never a burden to him. Why, why did he have to go and leave him alone? He couldn’t believe it in the funeral and he still refuses to believe it now, that such a precious person could no longer be here.

People could tell Levi that he was just in denial over the death of Eren but who were they judge? The same routine has been going on a month after he finished listening to the tape. He’d wake up and whisper ‘Good morning Eren’ as if he was still there and every day he’d be greeted by the same coldness on Eren’s side of the bed. He’d spray Eren’s perfume around the room as if the smell was from the night before, or from early in the morning while Eren was getting dressed. He would bring out his phone and start typing.

[Text: Eren]  
Please come back and tell me this is one of your sick jokes. And that you’ll laugh at me for ever doubting that this might be real.  
I have to get dressed now. I’ll text you in a short while.

He’s had multiple arguments with this parents, they believing it’s an unhealthy habit and him just arguing that it makes it feel like Eren is still around and is listening to him talk about his day. Not that this wasn’t the truth but he figured telling them that he is still convinced that Eren is alive sounded like it would’ve sprung up more complications.

[Text: Eren]  
Hey, I just want people to stop pestering me about texting you. Everyone thinks that I’m fragile and I need help. But I’m not; can they see I’m perfectly fine?  
I wish they’d stop treating me as if I’m broken just because I text you, it’s none of their business what I do  
I have to go now they’ll probably try to convince me to visit a psychiatrist or something idiotic like that. Wish me luck, will you?  
Oh, and by the way, your mum is also coming with us do you want me to tell her hello for you?

Despite that this isn’t where he went when he stepped out of the car, he could clearly make out where he was. The gloomy, eerie atmosphere was almost inescapable. It was the cemetery, and they were dragging Levi towards Eren’s grave. This was a place he swore never to visit ever again. 

As he was about to ask why they’re here Eren’s mum started speaking, “I think it’s about time you have a proper conversation with him.” And they all left him alone to speak privately.

“Hey Eren…I know I’m late…Please forgive me” at a loss for words he fell down to his knees and stared down at the gravestone. “I just really, really miss you, you have no idea. I want to tell you everything I wish I said, but I didn’t because I thought there was still time. But there wasn’t and I’m sorry. Would you forgive me if I followed you now? I guess not. Everything has always lead back to you Eren, no matter what it was. If I could relive it, I would and I would show you off to the whole entire world, I wouldn’t care who watched because I’d have you beside me. Why did you have to leave me? Eren…Please come back. Please. I’M BEGGING YOU. I NEED YOU.” He screamed at the top of his lungs as the tears recklessly fell down his face drop by drop. “I love you, I really do.” And with that he couldn’t speak anymore as there was a lump in his throat so he left, but not before promising him that he would try to get better and visit him more often.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello  
> This is my first post on here! I hope you liked this short story, tell me if I should do more :3 -Ingy :3


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